Tip-Toeing the Edge

To be honest, my New Year's Eve and day was kind of a downer. I won't bore you with the details, but it's really put a halt to me wanting to post a cheery recap of my 2014 running. Maybe you'll get a delayed post, but for now I just want to vent for a second.

I'm tip toeing dangerously close to the boundries of ditching the MAF method and just running free and being happy. I think it's because I'm kind of sad right now, and I'm really looking for the feelings that I miss. I just want to down an entire pizza with breadsticks and french fries followed by a fudge brownie sundae and then run a fast 10k up a mountain. Ok, maybe not in that order, but oh my god, french fries.

I know I tend to be a bit of a masochist, but I kind of miss the pain? Someone talk some sense into me. The MAF plan HAS indeed been miraculous in the way it has made me pay attention to my heart rate, and realize what things will raise my heart rate and how sensitive it is. It's also clearly been the answer to me being injury free. I feel fresh almost every day, despite running the most miles that I've ever ran before in a month. Despite my regular setbacks (food poisoning, bad nights of sleep, more food poisoning, insane weather...) I do feel like I am making improvements in pace...

I also hate that out of all of the blogs I read about the MAF method, they basically say "well it works but I wasn't patient enough to do it." I want to be the one patient enough to do it, damnit! One of the things I constantly find myself saying is "PERSISTENCE IS KEY". Also, as some of my fb friends know, "Set the bar LOW." :\ 

the wind was crazy this week

But I can't help but feel like a caged pegasus in the land of rainbows and cupcakes. I'm well aware that moderation is key, but can I really hold myself back from doing something stupid and hurting myself? I tend to do too much in life and in running. Even with food, if I like something I eat nothing but that for months until I never want to eat it again. It's my personality. 

I don't know what to do. :(

Anyway. Seriously, the wind was kind of crazy this week. Tuesday I went out and the wind was so strong I had to run with my head facing to the left because the cold air was going up my right nostril and also I could not hear a thing through my headphones. The normally calm and glass like waters were all flustered and crashing over into real waves! REAL WAVES.

Most of my runs this week were pretty not great. Actually the wind run was pretty refreshing but the next day I think it took a lot out of me and left me quite slow. Today I averaged just under an 11 minute mile, and it felt alright, but it wasn't where I was hoping it would be.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. I promise the next post will be a little more cheerful. Happy New Year Everyone!